"In Five Years"

“In five years…” I had that conversation with one of my best friends one summer at camp. It’s been at least seven years since that conversation, but I want to reflect back five years ago.

I remember five years ago like it was yesterday. I was almost 19 and just a couple weeks into my last quarter for my first year of college. I confidently walked the halls of my community college as the assembled student body secretary while taking a full credit load, including what proved to be my favorite class of all my college years – anatomy and physiology. I had just gotten back from a month vacation in Kauai. I was in class with my best friend. I rode my horse multiple times each week and really thought life was perfect. I loved my circumstance and felt somewhat comfortable with who I was as an individual. My five-year plan included overseas mission work in the summers but hopefully being in medical school, done with PA school, or being a nurse or something. I figured I’d go to school at SAU and then to LLU or Union for graduate school.

The wings of time bring change to circumstances and personal perspective. If you ever followed this blog after I left the relatively carefree years of community college and journeyed on to Weimar College, you’ll know that an underlying theme of insecurity and antipathy toward change indicated that my five-year plan wasn’t quite on target. In the years on “blogging vacation” my plan changed more. Sure, I studied and completed a Bachelors of Science in Natural Science (pre-med, for all that's worth), but I never even applied to medical school or PA school or nursing school. I fell in love with the field of public health about 4 years ago and pushed headlong after an academic goal. But, God saw it fit to alter my personal dream. God seemed to alter my five year plan significantly. Let me tell you about real life right now at the end of one of those “in five years”

I live in California. I never wanted to ever live here. I have a college degree. I never dreamed of a Weimar degree five years ago; I also realize how little I know, even though I have Associate’s and Bachelor’s degrees. I am a graduate student for a Master’s in Public Health. God asked me to surrender my academic dream a year ago with I visited Loma Linda University for the first time; I wrestled with tears to surrender a dream I thought He was leading me to. In coming months He clearly closed the door. Yet, He opened another door and I am pursuing the education that has fascinating me for years. I have a dream job. I never thought I’d actually become personally acquainted with Dr. Nedley, let alone become a family friend and employee. I love waking up and going to work. Even with my short life experience, I am working in a holistic business, clinic, and ministry that professionally educates the mind and treat the body, while unashamedly presenting the Gospel truth to heal the broken spirit. I feel perfectly content with my life because God has led me here and I have a better understanding of who I am. I have shed tears over disappointments, but I cannot but praise Him for the appointments He has given me. He has changed my personal perspective of myself and taught me over the past years to accept change because it is imperative to bringing His message to a hurting, dying world. He has shown me that I can be content in His leading. He has taught me that I can rely on Him when my spirit is troubled and that He will be my support in times where I may wish for my family or loved ones that have moved on in their lives. He has taught me that ministry is far more important than career. He has taught me that I can have complete peace trusting Him.

The end of this “in five years” shows me that our circumstances will not go “as planned” and we will not be exactly where we pictured ourselves or doing what we dreamed would be perfect. Instead, our life experience redefines us. Circumstances and personal perspective are areas God uses to teach us to exercise faith in His ultimate plan for life, a plan that spans far more than five, ten, or twenty years. He is the God of the Infinite and He knows just how to lead us.

A Time For...

If you're a student that has the obligation to travel a long distance to board at college, you can relate. We know what it's like to finish finals, pack a bag (quickly of course, because who cares what goes in, after all - I'm going home!), say good bye to one or two people, and rush to the airport to hasten to the joyous greeting with the beloved family. Several pleasant weeks go by, where little hard work seems to be done, no scholastic brain power is exerted, great resting is accomplished, much cooking and baking (for us ladies) prepares the family for a long, cold winter (especially after the winter holidays), and extended evenings next to the fireplace use all the year's relaxing time. It's all oh-so-wonderful until about four days before break is over. I think you know exactly what I mean. This is where some of us college students may split ways, however. After three weeks home, some of you may be ready to get away back to school, where trash doesn't need to be taken out or things picked up for Mom, but some of us love our homes so much that we don't want to have to leave again, even though we have to do the same things that you do.
About this time each break period I get perturbed of spirit. Pre-homesickness kicks in and my pillow gets wet at night. However, I found a passage of Scripture during one of these watering sessions that lifted much anxiety. It encouraged my heart not only in terms of returning to school, but also in accepting change in general. What a break through. Let me briefly share.
Ecclesiastes 3 paints a picture of comparisons, but it emphasizes that for each task or experience, God has allotted a time and a place. In all these "a time for" statements, I see assurance. I see that there is a well-planned schedule (yes, praise God for order when life so often seem disordered!) for the events of my life. It's still hard to part from home, but I can face tomorrow knowing that there is a time and place for everything - a time to be home and a time to be at school, a time to rest and a time to work hard. This passage calms my soul that is often stricken with worry over the ways of change. A passage of peace.
It's nothing new - it's been in the Bible for century upon century, but it still offers bright hope for the future. It also is help for the here and now, for the everyday worries and complexities. Won't you let the Scripture change your life and bring you hope? God has a plan for your life. He wants to be personally involved. Your happiness is God's greatest joy.

I Will Go ... Or Stay

The words of "I Will Go" are resounding in my mind...

But I am realizing that "I will stay" can also be part of the spirit of dedicated service that Christ asks His servants to have in order to be entrusted with a call to go somewhere where complete faith and trust are needed. Not that we don't have to have those attributes when God says stay. Far from it - I think I need them more.

I was supposed to return to the Middle East to work for the summer. To the day of my departure, every door has seemed so wide open and God's direction has seemed so clear. A prayer I had prayed in March was answered. I had prayed for a ticket to return and God provided a fully paid way overseas. I had a job and a mission to fulfill. 

I was only home for one night and two days in order to pack after my time in Michigan and before leaving. I hadn't realized how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to home and family for seven weeks after having not been home in over six months. I prayed that if it wasn't God's plan for me to go that He would close the door. Most of this prayer seemed selfish, as I spoke that night with tears of pain for leaving my home I love so much.

June 19 found me on a 6:00 am flight to Denver, where my first of three international flight departed from. About 7:00 am, somewhere between Washington and Colorado, I began to sweat uncomfortably in my nice exit-row seat. I made it to the lavatory, feeling suddenly nauseous. A severe wave of dizziness interrupted my unsettled stomach. My incredibly Norwegian pride prevented me from raising my hand to push the call attendant button; but my fatigue probably would have also prevented such a taxing physical movement. After what seemed an eternity, I managed to muster strength to return halfway up the B-737 to my seat. I slouched back into my seat, too exhausted and strange feeling to resume conversation with the oil engineer I was seated by. Thank God for window seats.

By the time I reached Denver, I was shaky, warm, still nauseous, and had throbbing aches in different locations of my head. Thankfully the engineer pointed me in the right place to get to the my train to my terminal. As I feebly walked to my Air Canada gate, I called my parents, expressing my concern about my sudden sickness and fear for the long flights ahead of me - 24 more hours of travel and the fear of a two-day stomach flu that I seemed to have caught while at a family wedding the past weekend. My SEAL Team7 team in Michigan was praying for me and the choice I was facing to continue or to return home; my family was praying. My heart was incredibly split. I had to walk to the kiosk and attempt through a voice broken by tears of sickness, exhaustion, and emotion to tell the German Lufthansa ladies who were operating the Air Canada flight that I was possibly not getting on the plane due to a sudden flu onset. My bag was laid aside until I made a final decision. My amazing father was in Spokane, making calls to my travel agent to see what would happen if I didn't go on. When he called me again, I must have sounded terrible. I was told, "Cami, you need to come home." I couldn't respond. My heart was so confused. My heart has been left in the Middle East since I was there earlier this year, but my body wasn't doing well. Nor did it seem fair to risk a bad sickness in the air, leaving me exhausted and exposing hundreds of passengers to my sickness. I couldn't risk that. I agreed to come home. I couldn't believe my ears as I said "okay". My foggy mind wasn't registering that I wasn't going. But as "Martin, Cameron" was paged in my gate while the final boarding was taking place, I had to let the airlines know I wasn't getting on board. . . I felt no shame as I cried and cried, watching my bag being wheeled from the plane under the airport below me. Something seemed so wrong. I wasn't on my plane. My friends and family tried to tell me things would be okay, but what fevered brain is quite rational, even to spiritual counsel? Seeing this plane leave was incredibly hard. I was faced with such a controversy of acceptance of God's timing...

My travel agent secured me a flight an hour later back to Spokane. I had to trace my steps back to the train and to my first section of the huge airport. My feet drug. I had to find customer service for United Airlines to find out how to get my bag back to my flight. That didn't happen, but at least I had an idea of what to do once I got to Spokane. . . Jamba Juice was soothing. I was thankful for something fresh and healthy as well as settling. I got on my flight and slept as I flew the two hours home. My parents expected me to be hauled out of the airport on a stretcher or something, but I was walking. At their house in Spokane, I crawled under the covers of my sisters bed and slept. All this time, I later discovered, my bad was en route to the Middle East.

Maybe I was exhausted. I had spent the entire weekend before leaving traveling by train from Michigan to Minnesota to a wedding, running around the Chicago Union Train Station, and getting from the Union Station to O'Hare to fly home. And I'd just been in a beta beta summer program working as the team chef as well as normal canvassing and health work. Before this month I'd taken many difficult finals after a long and tiring semester at Weimar College. I was tired. I was emotionally unsure before leaving. But my heart was willing to go or stay. I had prayed so much. Was this a closed door or an obstacle?

I tried rebooking. My flight was only 2/3 refundable, so no longer was my ticket "free". But I wanted to be where my heart felt called. I would have left yesterday... But by this time I was only going to be working for a month - not the 2-3 that I was wanted over there for. It was decided that I would be better off finishing some summer schooling this summer. That settled my decision to not rebook - which was not an easy choice.

I've learned some much through this experience. I've prayed more than I ever have before. I've seen God work - opening and closing doors and working in my heart to be willing. He's been working to give me a spirit of willingness. 

But, as Christ has kept working, I still feel regret for not going. When my luggage returned with the Middle East Airlines "Expedite bag" tag on it and my final destination on it, my heart seemed to break again. I just finished reading updates from friends working over there right now who I was supposed to be with. I've shed tears. But once again, God just comforted my heart with the realization that I opened this blog with. The words of Jeremiah 29:11 also echo in my experience:

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'

I will Go or I Will Stay

This is the prayer I yearn for, but I am learning to substitute some new words. 

Give me ears to hear Your Spirit
Give me feet to follow through
Give me hands to touch the hurting
And the faith to follow You

Give me grace to be a servant
Give me mercy for the lost
Give me passion for Your glory
Give me passion for the cross

And I will go where there are no easy roads
Leave the comforts that I know
I will go and let this journey be my home
I will go
I will go

I'll let go of my ambition
Cut the roots that run too deep
I will learn to give away
What I cannot really keep
What I cannot really keep

Help me see with eyes of faith
Give me strength to run this race

I will go Lord where Your glory is unknown
I will live for You alone
I will go because my life is not my own
I will go
I will go
I will go 

Where Have I Been?

Somehow, with all my life has been involved with in the past months, I have not had time to realize that I have not written anything. Even the blogs I have typed this year have put a strain on my time. It isn't difficult to have inspiration for writing during difficult times, it is just difficult to find time to sit down and express those thoughts when every day life as a pre-med student pulls me in other directions. But summer has arrived. It has been here for over six weeks in my case - it's over half over already.
For a few moments I will give praise to the school that has held my life a captive for the past school year. I couldn't ask for a better place. Weimar College (now formally Weimar Institute) is not a perfect place; I am not a perfect person. Together, my time was far from perfect, but the experience I received at Weimar has sharpened my passion for Christ and my desire to live a life of ministry. The opportunities have been incredible. I will always look back at this year as an incredible time of growth. I learned so much about myself - my dreams, hopes, fears, strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations - because of the classes, teachers, friends, and attitude of Weimar. I heartily encourage you to check out this school. It's only getting better.
The doors for ministry are so varied. I enjoyed church ministry to local SDA churches in need of young people interaction. I enjoyed door-to-door work, and work on campus as in-reach. I became involved with SEAL Team7 at Weimar as well.
Directly following the conclusion of this school year, a group of seven students from Weimar flew to East Lansing, Michigan where we began a beta beta summer program seeking to combine health work with the Bible and canvassing works. Due to time restraints on my summer schedule, I was only with the team for the first month. But this was one of the most rewarding months of my life. We stayed at the CAMPUS/GYC headquarters and have worked in connection with Pastor David Shin's church and CAMPUS. I cannot begin to describe how amazing it is to spend an hour in prayer, time together training and discussing SOP methods and today's applications, and then hitting the field for trial and error work. Divine appointments, health coaching appointments, books, Bible studies - we are experiencing them all while learning what works and does not work for this never-been-tried-before work for reaching the cities. I think I need to write a blog about this... :)
God has opened doors for me. I've experienced all sorts of life-changing and life-directing opportunities. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for my life. The more I think about it, the more exciting this journey becomes!

Forever in My Heart

It's been too long. I did indeed go to the Middle East in February and returned safely in March. All the wonderful experiences while over there prevented me from having time to update my own personal blog, but if you follow this link you can read my updates written while on the ground doing health work. Since I got back I've been doing the college thing non-stop and haven't had time to even log into my blogger account. It's time to write a little something to share with people around me. Due to the sensitive nature of working in any field in the ME, I cannot share details in public online sites, but you can get a taste of our health work from the Weimar blog above that have more detail than what follows. This is what I wrote recently for a Weimar publication. (photos: Adam Jackson)

Middle East Health Team College PAC

Cami Martin, Health Science

Before leaving for PAC, I was excited about taking Weimar’s NEWSTART lifestyle principles to the Middle East, but it wasn’t until the on-site planning took place and our actual health expos started that the reality of how medical work can be used to touch people deeply hit me. After I realized how far reaching the work of my Weimar PAC team was, my excitement escalated to a high point that hasn’t diminished, even though I’m back in school once again.

The biggest lesson I learned was that even humble college students could make a difference in the lives of people deprived of available health care or health education. Through our health work, we could encourage many people who have at one time or another experienced war, oppression, and are still facing challenging economic times. Seeing the emotions within the eyes of the people and how they responded to the care we had for them touched my heart profoundly.

Through health expos, orphanage visitations, and interaction in the homes of the people in the Middle East, my views concerning health work were confirmed. Health work is the way to win the trust of people. It is the work that is going to make a great impact on the lives of millions of people across the globe, from the Middle East to the United States. This recent experience with simple health work immersion and the far-reaching effects it has been God-sent confirmation for the goals I have for my life. I’m excited about pursuing my Masters in Public Health after finishing at Weimar because it will be so useful in service in other countries! I was incredibly happy in the Middle East and I loved the work we were doing. Potentially, I could have found a home. I was touched, never to be the same.

PACking

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What can I say, but God has been preparing the way for an adventure I embark upon tomorrow morning. Over the past school year plans have been being finalized for Weimar College to take a small group of students to a country that is part of the Middle East Union. I am one of these ten or so students who will be doing health work in the Middle East for nearly two weeks as a part of Weimar’s Practical Application Component. While I can’t give more details than that on a public forum due to the sensitivity of countries in that area of the world, I can give you a link to our PAC website where you can follow along with the adventures, joys, and challenges of the various PACs Weimar College students are on during our spring break: http://pacmissions.org/college

I just finished midterms and I’ve been packing, but it didn’t hit me until my church I attend while at school had the elders pray for us today: I am going somewhere that Christ desires His followers to go and am about to minister to the physical needs of people as Christ did in His day in a similar part of the world. I am about to leave!

7:43 AM departure from Weimar College. 1:40 PM from San Francisco. Adventure is just around the corner! Thank you for your prayers. إلى اللقاء

How Weimar Burned Down

Conviction of my need.
It's been with my since November
- And it hasn't gone away.

It's not just my need
- Other students have been convicted about my need as well.

Except they themselves are convicted about the need I have in their lives too.

Outreach. Ministry. An earnest desire to stop at nothing to do everything that God has placed on our hearts and in our reach to further the gospel commission.

It's not gone away.

The conviction has spread.

The campus of Weimar Institute is going to be burned down. The flame of the Spirit is taking hold.

We've been talking, we've been praying, we've been planning.

And we are doing!

Today's ministry was beautiful. A group of ten college students drove five minutes off campus to a nearby community. NEWSTART  singers sang through the neighborhood using the ministry of music to cheer the homes and hearts of people on a damp January afternoon. The response to well-known and loved hymns was extremely positive, with many smiles, kind words, and great contact with people.

And God divinely placed us out today to do this special ministry. At one house we sang for a young woman who was about 30. When we finished "How Great Thou Art", her lower lip trembled and she whipped a tear from her check as she chocked, "Thank you so much... my father just died". Her mother came to the door at this point, with emotion saying, "Your time is impeccable. My husband just died... This is my favorite song... Thank you so much". The time wasn't appropriate for another song or prayer, but we wished them our heartfelt condolences and said we would be praying. As we walked past this home half an hour later, the mother came walking out over her wet driveway in her stockinged feet to inquire who we were and where we came from. As we answered those questions, she told us to her we were angels, that she too was a Christian, and that her husband's funeral was the next morning. Her thankfulness of the cheer of Christian service could not be denied.

I walked away from this last encounter humbled to be a part of a blessing. The opportunity to follow up this contact in the near future with Weimar bread, a card, and an invitation to a health event is perfect. I can see the doors are opening, the opportunities unfolding.

It all starts with conviction. Through prayer ideas are unveiled. And through action the work begins.

The semester is new, the year is new. I'm making a NEWSTART to the way I view my life. Mission service to those around me is my focus. God blesses the efforts to share Christian love and kindness.  Through conviction God has impacted the hearts and lives of many people in the past. Conviction is the flame that carries out revolution. Here at Weimar we are beginning to sense with earnest need a revolution of the missionary spirit in our lives. I cannot be complacent any longer. Neither can many other young people. We want to tell the tale of how Weimar burned down by the empowering of the Holy Spirit to go change the world around us!

He is moving. He is empowering and equipping. Let us work for, as my life's motto is, there is much to do.