Home to Home

I'm HOME! Yes, I'm home sweet home back in Washington State. The Lord brought me through comprehensive final exams; as I look back over the semester I see God's guiding hand. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, the old saying goes, but it's really based on the principles that God refines and won't let us bare more than we can handle. Praise my Jesus, I'm much stronger for this semester away from home. I am one blessed girl, of that I have no doubt.
Things I am thankful for: high shower heads, hard mattress on my bed, home cooked meals, my mother's goodnight hug, and fresh snow. And we're at our home in Kettle Falls - scores big points for me. It hasn't sold and although my family lives in Spokane most of the time, we're home for the holidays. Tanner and Dad have been down in Spokane this week and last since Tanner has been finishing an intensive course online - no phone, internet, or mail at home! :) They are on their way home as I type and will be staying home now. I'm glad of that. All together finally for more than two days! :-)
Tanner and I flew back from Weimar Friday, December 7. The following day we went to church at my home church, Sunday Cayce and I used our new skis for the first time, and Monday on we rode the horses, walked, and I shadowed a lot at the local clinic and hospital as part of my Weimar Winter PAC. Thursday afternoon Mom took me to their rental house where I had to stay overnight to go early on Friday, Dec. 14 for an exostectomy bilateral calcaneal surgery for both my heels. Since then I'm slowly recovering with crutches for two painful feet. It's going good. I'm sure I'll heal quickly. In the mean time, I'm enjoying lots of reading and time with my sister who has a cold! :) However, I'll be very happy to be off my bed and the couch, into non-pajama-laziness, and on to my life! :-)
I'm home. I'm happy. God is SO good. I miss my Weimar family a lot- I left a home to come home. I am seeing the truth of "I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content"- be in Washington or California, with biological family or with family in Christ. (-:

The Plan, the Experience: Weimar

Do you have any idea what a blessing it is to attend a college where the teachers are more concerned for the spiritual welfare and growth of their students than anything else? God is first here at Weimar College. Students are second. While our studies are important, the order of priority follows the plan of true education. We're facing finals next week, so the conformation of the dedication that our teachers are expressing comes with amazing reassurance. I'm praising God for leading me to this place.
My experience here reflects the journey of life. I started off the semester feeling very burdened, very impaired by the thick fog of the forest. I was incredibly homesick - rightly so, I do believe -. While I still miss my home and my family immensely, I am at peace. I explained the joy I found backpacking one of last posts, but right now I just want to briefly say that I'm excited to be part of a movement to change the world. I'm excited to be part of Weimar. I'm moving up to higher places.
I didn't start school here expecting to be so profoundly impacted. I wanted a nice, SDA Christian environment as a change from public college. I have found that, I admit. But what Weimar offers is something so much deeper, something so much more vital to my life than just taking classes in a good environment. Here at Weimar, we talk, think, eat, study, play, sing, sweat, cry, pray, plead, encourage, listen, and live Jesus. Believe me, until you've experienced it, you have no idea what I'm talking about. I am about to walk away next Friday morning to go home for a month, but I'm walking away with a changed life. My life is to live for nothing short of being where God wants me, doing exactly what He wants me to do, and to be sharing just what He thinks is best for the moment I am in. I'm going to take the principles and practices I'm learning here at Weimar with me throughout my whole life.
You better believe it, I'm coming back next semester. Sure, I hate the noise of the dorm, I don't like the expenses of living away from my parents' kind support, I don't like some of the ways certain things are handled, but I love Weimar. The principles are strong. The mission mindset is compelling.
I'm going to be a medical missionary. Being at Weimar has taught me that public college changed me in one way; I stopped saying medical missionary for the sake of having to explain the term. But at Weimar, I've discovered how I was influenced and I'm doing all I can to remedy years of neglect for a spirit I had previously cherished for many years. Mission had been slightly pushed aside, in a subtle sort of way. But it is forefront in my life now! I can live what I to do with my life here, and that is really special. 
This place is a blessing. Please come see Weimar. Wei want you here. Wei have an amazing school. You can be a part of Weimar in many ways, but please, pray for us. Pray that we can be lights to those we meet and represent our religion of Christ attractively, as it really is. 

San Jose Choir Trip

Choir trip. San Jose, CA area. Mountainview Japanese church. October 27, 2012.

In photos :)

Men's Chorus - Midnight Cry - (photo: Andy Im)

Josh, Ben, David, Winston, Philip, Michael, RD, and Watanabe - Cupertino, CA - (photo: Andy Im)

 

I (by window next to plant) thought it would be neat to sing one of my favorite songs with my friend Michelle (blue shirt), but suddenly Erwin, our German classmate and choir director (at piano), joined and before I knew it my solo turned into a 6 part acapella group! What an incredible Sabbath blessing to spend time singing as friends in the home of kind hosts from the church! (photo: Dr. Iwahasi)

Sharing music is a great blessing. We weren't perfect, ha by any means, but the angels sang with us.

With Confidence

Weimar College. The longer I'm here the more I realize I'm right where God wants me at this point in my life. The vision and implementation of true education is touching me very profoundly. My missions and goals are being realigned towards doing whatever it takes- and waiting patiently on God's timing- to do with my life that will further His work the most. I can say with confidence and sincerity that I am happy here and so incredibly thankful that God has me placed me at Weimar to train me to be the best that I can be.

For the weekend of Weimar College's Fall PAC 2012, a group of dedicated, high standard young people hiked to California's Desolation Wilderness to spend the weekend digging into God's word- 1 Peter chapter 1-, praying, talking, spending time in nature, singing, and reflecting on God's will for our lives. I was deeply and profoundly blessed. Never will I forget October 5-7. Amazing classmates and friends. Amazing insights. Amazing focuses on the Lord's work. I had time to make important re commitments to God and to give myself completely over to His work in my life. Because of this trip, I can say that I am happy where I am. He gave me confidence renewed in his purpose of my being at Weimar College.

Kimberly hiking on Sabbath!

Madeline & I. Earlier in the semester we both bought backpacks and looked forward to using them together. We took a photo at the beginning of the trip to show us out together about to hit the trail!!

Michelle Boykin & Kimberly Azelton. I've known Michelle for about 8 years and am enjoying our friendship here at school, as well as on the trails! :)

 Madeline Cardona, one of my closest friends at school. I never cease being blessed in all our many conversations. She is a young woman of prayer. I'm so incredibly blessed to call her my friend! We are both premed students, RAs in the girls' dorm, and on SA at college!

 Sabbath afternoon we went exploring-- Maddie, Kimberly, Michael, Ben, and Mr. Shaffer (our Weimar Staff chaperone and my second dad)

 You don't know what the word blessing means until you experience singing miles and miles from anything with people very near and dear. Madeline, Kimberly, Michael, and Ben! These are friends for life. And singing Scripture songs on top of the world-- it doesn't get much better!!

Donner Peak Hike: Sierra Nevadas.
Last Sabbath, October 13, a good group of the college went east to the mountains around Tahoe. Here are some photos of our lovely time out in nature (by Adam Jackson).

FALL R&R Weekend: Castle Peak, Sierra Nevadas.

 Hiking to a nice Sabbath School and Church location, then fellow-shipping with food, talking, and reflection made our time of Rest and Relaxation quite lovely. All this followed the day before having gone white water rafting on the American River!

 My wonderful brother, Tanner, and our friend Michael Lombart :) Theology seniors.

 Melissa Guthrie, my cousin (<3), Ariel Hempel, and Amaris B-- my hiking companions of the afternoon of R&R.

The journey continues.

But I am confident

That He who has begun a 

Good work

Will keep on preforming it! 

It Was Going to be an Update

A fresh sheet.

Interesting what comes to mind.

I set out just now to write about my life at Weimar the last month, but instead I feel inspired from the new blogger interface and method of writing a blog.

Since this is a fresh, clean, crisp sheet, I want to make a parallel. I had my mind restored today in such a way as to totally make me reconsider what I've been up to and my attitude towards my life as of late (see, I do get to talk about my life at Weimar after all!).

It's been a hard week-- emotionally there has been stress. As an RA, being in the middle of the thick must be the norm-- at least it is in this dorm! Our dean has been highly stressed because of the many hats she is trying to juggle right now and midterms has taken its toll on students. There were some episodes that weren't handled well. It's over now and everyone is learning from them (they weren't so bad, in retrospect, but was I ever uptight). I was speaking with one of the faculty mid week and I really appreciated his desire for me to be happy here and and to continue strong in my small role of leadership in the dorm, despite the stress it invokes. He pointed out that Satan isn't happy about the work that is going on at Weimar. During the course of our conversation I realized that I needed to pray more and consider how my education and the work of this school are going to play a role in closing the work on this earth.

I've got a fresh start with my thinking now. Aren't you glad that Jesus can renew our minds? I sure am!

More on life later! =)

The Thoughts I Can't Express

My world used to be a strong, metal fortress.

Security was found in the joys of nature,

The babbling creek and Canada geese,

Picking roses and catching crickets,

Building forts and tossing balls.

Not many years of life were lived,

And then irreversible changes came.

Death of family left my life never the same.

But through those childhood and teenage years,

The stable things so near and dear were my surety.

Then the time began speeding up.

I became a small atom in a giant world.

Ever smaller it seems I've grown,

Less and less to call my own.

Everything is changing, including me.

Fire began to melt my strong fortress.

Saying good byes, giving up my pets,

Seeing my security fly away,

Being ripped from my home—

Can you blame the pain?

I feel my world sinking, ever changing.

I cry within, some tears some see.

Overwhelming world.

I want to my home back.

But I want to go to Heaven.

Soon.

Settling In

Whirlwind describes the last seven days. Last week at this time I was driving to Spokane. Right now I'm sitting at my desk in my new dorm room. Last week my mom and I were driving in her VW together, but this week she's riding with Dad home. Tanner's Hondo, Tanner, myself, and lots of necessities are left here in California.
What a lot we have done. We came expecting to move me into my room and have a nice few days before registration on Thursday. Thanks to our good family friends, the Shaffers, we worked on renovations in the ladies' dorm. How many college kids paint their own room? I did, along with my parents, Tanner, and Steven. All the rooms got painted, except for 2 (12/14 isn't too bad). We moved furniture all over the place. The place is looking good. Our lobby will be quite lovely.
Mom and Dad left me yesterday. It was a day of some hot tears flowing down my checks, but, I was encouraged by the kindness of the Shaffers and some of the girls here.
I'll write more later. Classes are still being worked out and schedules made. :) The settling in process isn't the easiest, but it's working... slowly but surely.

My Bedroom!

Girls' Lobby :)

The Lasts

There’s something about the lasts that wrings every emotion in my soul.

Homesick before even leaving home? I’m at the summit of my leaving-home-for-college experience.

It’s my last night in my bedroom. The last night to say goodnight to everyone in my family. We had our last supper together, walked our last trail in home country, and said good-bye to church family—so many things, so many lasts.

Leaving for school has forced me to give my chickens a new home, find ideas for boarding my horse, and is ripping me from my family. At least my brother is going to be there. I’m the epitome of a homebody. These lasts are killing me…

I’ll be home in December. I’m counting the days.

Adventure begins at 10:00 AM tomorrow morning.

Weimar College, I’m coming. God has a purpose. This painful feeling of leaving home for real hurts, but it’s not the last time I’ll be home. I’m just temporarily away.

Last Sabbath together as the three Martins

My home

I took my last long ride of the summer

Meet Princess, my Morab mare. Last goofy photo for a long time

My pathetic flower basket... But I'm going to miss watering it!

My room downstairs-- see the curtains? I love this place. Amazing bedroom!!

My former chicken coop. No long full of life. Oh the pain of saying bye to my little birds...

Beautiful sunflowers in the garden

Garden view of the upstairs of my house

Yeah, this is going to hurt... I hate lasts.

About to start the adventure of life. Please keep praying for me!

Laborers Together With God-YD Camp Reflections

Is it possible to write about all the blessings of working with the hearts of young people for two weeks? Or about the lessons I learned as a counselor? Or the ways God called me to higher ground? If you’ve ever experienced Young Disciple Youth Bible Camp, you understand part of the amazing summer I’ve spent away from home.

It was hard to leave my home, knowing I was going away for nearly three of the five remaining weeks I had at home, but my experience at Camp was worth the sacrifice of my summer, my time, and my family enjoyment. For nearly one-third of my life I’ve spent most of the month of July in Inchelium, Washington. My life was changed from being rebellious, self-pleasing, and self-centered to a Christian young person striving to live by the light God has given me. I am one of the hundreds, possibly thousands, of fruits of Young Disciple Ministries. Because my life was changed during the tender years of my existence, I return year after year to Inchelium to be a co-laborer with Christ in working with the hearts of children twelve to seventeen years of age.

Friday night of Youth Leadership Training I was handed my assignment—counselor of the oldest girls’ unit, Daughters of God. I’ve been a counselor at YDYBC for five years now, so I’ve had these girls many times. Yet, every time I’m handed my pink name tag and unit assignment, I am humbled. Working with the hearts of girls nearly past the tender age of seventeen (a time when hearts begin to hardened) is a sacred trust. Once again, I felt the sacredness of this assignment. With careful prayer, I prepared ideas for worship talks, devotion sharing, and ways to bind the hearts of my campers together and to my co-counselor and I. 

Outdoors Camp began on July 15. My unit was amazing. My girls were sweet. It was nearly an “angel unit”—a name not to be said since it tends to end as a curse rather than a descriptor of good campers. But one girl was obviously struggling. One day, midweek, we had a chance to have a real heart-to-heart conversation—a deep one, concerning being worthy of Christ’s plan of salvation despite our shortcomings. I was encouraged. It was the most precious conversation I’ve ever had at Camp with one of my campers. She stayed both weeks and by the end of camp two days ago, she went home a changed person. I’ve never seen someone change so fast. She went from complaining about being bitten from mosquitoes constantly to encouraging her unit mates constantly. My heart still thrills over this young woman’s desire to press on!

Our second week of YD Camp began on July 22^nd -Mission Music Camp. The first night, after Campfire, I had my campers write their goals for the week—the ways they hoped to be challenged and called higher. Through the week, one girl kept opening expressing her very blatant distaste for heaven (!) and for spiritual things and her inability to please her mother. I told her of my experience as a rebellious teenager and how Camp changed me. I wrote her a lot of Camp-O-Grams last week, telling her very straightforwardly about what Jesus wants to do and how He has helped me –and so many others. We had a lot of good talks. Yet still, she fought. Sabbath night we have testimony time after our Campfire talk. She didn’t go up. I was sad, yet I kept praying inwardly. But, as the theme song was sung one final time, she gave me a big hug. We walked away from the Campfire circle, arm over arm. She was singing and humming. I stopped just within earshot of the soundtrack playing our theme song. She brokenly said, “That song… I can’t explain what I feel… But… I… want to choose Jesus.” What a giant hug I gave her and she gave me! Seeing her peaceful smile replace her drawn, forced smiles all week was worth sacrificing all my summer for my whole life! She has a lot to face going home, but by God’s grace, much prayer, and support she is going to change her life!

God closed the door to go to GYC Europe. How I wanted to go. YD Camp was on the back of my mind- I’ve not missed a year since I was 13. YD asked me to teach child evangelism classes again this year. I said yes and in that way committed to Camp this summer. How glad I am it worked out this way. I was just where God wanted me. Just when I needed it most, I was reminded that soul saving, especially that of the young people of this world, is my life-work! I never want to loose that fire. It was rekindled as it had never been before this year at YD. And, who knows how my presence there may have affected lives. God may likely use me, and you, to touch someone that no one else can. When I look at my ministry to the youth of YD Camp, I determine to never let the opportunity go to reach out.

Yes, I was challenged, I was invigorated, I was encouraged and I recommend the ministry of a godly youth Bible camp to every person. It’s a joy to be a young disciple: a high classed, privileged young person learning and growing in Christ.

And It Starts Again

It’s camp time again. This is my eighth summer at Young Disciple Youth Bible Camp. It feels weird to be the oldest, most experienced girls’ counselor. We’re in the thick of counselor training right now.  I always appreciate this preparation time; I forget so much throughout the year, and it really helps me focus on how I can prayerfully prepare to let the Lord work through me.

This is going to be an interesting year. So many people are gone—Cheyenne Francis, Mr. Kim, Mrs. Riechard, Mrs. Osterman, Mrs. Prettyman, and others. I’m glad that the Prewitts could make time out of their busy schedule for YD Camp. It’s a sacrifice to be here. So many of the old counselors of my camper and early counseling days have moved on. I feel like a new generation of counselors is arriving… I’m not that old either. =) But anyway, I’m glad that new people are being trained in how to keep this camp YD, where campers are high class, privileged young people learning and growing in Christ.

I’m sitting on the Gems for Jesus cottage’s porch. Quiet time in the cabin is hotter than in the tents. I’m enraptured by the view. The birds’ songs (and raven’s caws) fill the air. Camp is in the air. I’m excited!

Keep the counselors, staff, and campers in prayer!

I’ll try to keep you posted!  

It's For More Than Just the Obvious

I was catching up with my cousin, Ariel Hempel, last night on the phone. If you’ve ever met my beautiful cousin, you’ll know she radiates beauty both without and within. She reflects her Creator. I’m blessed in every conversation with her. What struck me last night as we talked about our classes at school for this fall was how she wanted to take on so large a credit load and her academy responsibilities but she was going to pray about it some more.

Once we hung up, my mind pondered how she prays about things. I do pray, or, at least I have in the past and do about some things everyday with sincere earnestness. But, this school-planning phone conversation woke me up to the lesson that I have to pray about everything in my life! That’s more than just about what degree to go for, which school to attend, the trials my family is undergoing—it’s about the things I know I know what to do on. What a reality check. Sounds easy.

My good Savior gave me a test today! So soon after conviction – amen? An acquaintance of some years emailed me about considering a mission break. I’m going to pray about it. Right now I feel that I know how to answer, but I am going to take some time to sincerely pray over this matter. Sounds easy still, but now to instill it as a primary-defense mechanism, to use a biology term (^_^).

Praying is so simple, but I don’t turn to it as quickly or as often as I should. Prayer is a privilege, so why do I neglect it? I know prayer has power. I’ve seen it at work. And I believe in God’s care and concern for my unique situation and circumstances. I want to make prayer my first line of defense in this warfare against evil. I want to make prayer, that connection to the very throne of God, my lifeline!

Here’s to praying more, friends! =)

Good Intentions

Good intentions- we all know how those go. I’ve had some pretty first-rate experiences with them, especially along the lines of language, for which I am going to muse upon in this post.

Five years ago I had this good intention of learning Romanian from some of my family’s good friends. That was five years ago. All I can say is “what is this?” (phonetically CHA EST AUSTA?) and “this is___”(AUSTA ESTA___), mulţumesc, da, nu, cheh my fahch?, and a few other random phrases (one of which translates something like “go jump in the spinach”- expressly used as one of our girls’ chief insults to Romanian teenage boys). Our Romanian friends, a population of which that seems to be growing rapidly among our acquaintances, have decided that they’ve babied us too much. They say we’re going to learn now. I hope their good intention pay off; we’ll see. It could happen since they’re moving to the school I’m going to in 6 week. Now I’ll see them every day rather than two or three times a week.  I’d love to rattle off in their strange tongue while interspersing it with brief phases of English, like they do so irkingly to us Martins! :-)

Another good intention of mine started well over eight years ago, before my family went to Europe the first time. I diligently started learning French, so as to act as the family interpreter while on our four-day leg of our month long European vacation in that country. I learned a few nice things, such as how to say that a monkey is eating a banana on an airplane and that the baby is crying, but I never was able to use these phrases to the natives of France. The best I did was order five baguettes at a small bakery out near Normandy beach one windy, Sunday November afternoon. After this depressing language venture, my French intention didn’t take me past one year of French in high school. Sadly to say, although my love for this language didn’t go away, my desire to study it did. However, I still intended to learn it— one day. The best I’ve done at this language endeavor was French 1 as a part of my recent Associate of Arts degree. At least I now know some really helpful things in French…

I intend to learn a language. I’ve tasted one and love it. My Romanian mother, for Luminiţa Shaffer is my second mom, brought her mother over about two years ago from Romania. Lily can’t speak any English other then “Thank you” and “Happy Sabbath”. Sign language is hard. How I wish I could speak to her. She talks and I can’t tell what she wants! You know that language barrier- isn’t it frustrating? I want to learn a language fluently. I’m going to. I intend to. I have ideas of language school going through my head. I may go next fall, honestly (2013-2014). You hear the gears of my active imagination-concerning-my-education turning, don’t you? These ones are well oiled, I tell you. My thoughts vacillate between France or Germany, but Norway tempts me, too. . . I really love French, but I have strong ties to German and Norwegian. So, we’ll see. I

Having a good intention is part of the spice of life. A motivation to keep us pressing forward; it helps us from noticing all the bumps of life at present of or our pasts. I strongly believe that intending is a good thing. We can’t leave it at intention only. You can see I intended much in my past but haven’t done so much to attain my intentions. I intend to succeed but if I don’t preserve to successful completion, my intention is for naught- and I’m not going to go there any more. So, I am going to learn a language.

And as a random side note to those of you who read this far in this post, let’s get English down pat. My intelligent sister Cayce, a French 1-3 in college kind-of-girl, told me that American English has 1 word that has a masculine and feminine form—blond and blonde. Thank you France! So, for all you blonde girls out there, spell your hair color like you mean it, and all you blond guys, keep the e off it, if you please. :) ~ See, learning another language actually helps us learn English better!  

Cami & Tanner, France 2004

The End of An Era

Completion. It’s a word that implies a multitude of different ideas, all the result of an effort. But for me, it’s a word that represents the result of two and half years of hard work in school. You know about my journey, you’ve witnessed my struggles and victories, and you know that I’ve desired God’s leading. Well, since my resettled decision last August to remain home and finish my Associate of Arts degree from Spokane Falls Community College, I’ve not looked back. I’ve been blessed in this last year’s adventure more than I ever dreamed. The conversations I’ve had, the friendships I’ve cultivated, and the personal growth I’ve experienced with one more year at junior college has left me speechless. I must thank my God and my family for never failing me.

And here it is. The end! Completion. Success.

But yet the journey continues.

I thank God for His hand in my life. I thank God for the people in my life. I thank God for the opportunities He’s given me. I thank God for education, for a mind, for a purpose.

A chapter closes, never to be edited, never to be repeated. But the book of my life has been beautiful with God's scripting.

And my mother is my biggest supporter!

Last year at this time I had a photo with this amazing girl. I'm so thankful for my best friend

My mentor Mr. Price (biology instructor), Amanda, Isabel, and myself 

Holes of Change

Visiting the Inchelium church or Young Disciple Ministries has a hole now- Cheyenne is gone. 

Sabbath School class is so small- my best friend, her brothers, and Jefferson are all off pursuing an education or their careers. Their absence leaves holes.

Seeing the for sale sign at the end of the driveway leaves an incredible hole. This is my home; no other place will fulfill this hole for years to come.

This is my last month to be a student at my college- I’m graduating. I’m going to miss my teachers, a lot. Another hole.

When I see her suffering, someone I love and can’t seem to help, I feel the biggest hole of all.

There’s a lot of change that has happened in the last year. My life seems to be quite incredibly holey. Nothing and no one has entered into my life to bring me any new joys to make up for the losses. I find myself often at the crossroads, often at the uneasy edge of the nest where I see I’ll soon have to fly on my own. 

Despite the ugly sensations of experiencing changes and holes, I know of remedy. There is One who longs to fill every hole in my life and make every change fit into His plan. I have the choice to allow the holes to be filled with Christ’s presence in my life. I can choose to let Him lift my spirits, guide my tired feet, cheer my lonely heart, and give peace for the situations I cannot reverse. 

From holey to holy;

It’s as simple as a choice.

And the result is beautiful.

Always

While reading of Job’s deep depression, recently, I was struck by an encouragement. Satan was the one causing Job’s distress and discouragement; God was simply allowing His servant this experience to show the universe that Job was dedicated to Him. If this depression was the result of the devil’s actions and was yet overseen by our kind Father, surely no less occurs today. Depression and discouragement doesn’t result from the hand of the Lord. The same as in the days of old occurs today— God is allowing us to be tested.

Imagine if Job had known the source of his trial—would he have not stood firmly from the beginning? If he had but understood that God meant him nothing but well, would he not have been a different man under trial?

No less today, for we know from history’s record. Surely we should not be cast down.

This revelation of the trials allowed in our lives has been an encouragement to me in these days where the devil has been striking in my very home. Although there is weeping, heartache, and concern for the future, I have been revived in faith through God’s Holy Word.

In the time of trial, Lo I am with thee

In hour of crisis, Lo I am with thee

In the moment of agony, Lo I am with thee

Lo I am with thee… Always. Forever and always, God is with us. He is my beginning – He will be my end. Through this bitterness of trial, God is with me. He is with us.

“For the Lord will not cast off forever.
Though He causes grief, 
Yet He will show compassion According to the multitude of His mercies. 
For He does not afflict willingly, 
Nor grieve the children of men.” Lamentations 3:31-33

Though I feel the lamentations of Jeremiah keenly, Lo I am with thee always.

I can’t see the end, but I rest assured that through even this experience, though not as great as Job’s, God wants to show His servants faithful to Him to the entire universe.

The Great I AM is refining. Until perfection and beyond—

always.

 (photo: web)

Social Safeguards

I read something interesting a while ago about the things that get shared publicly. While I don’t recall where exactly I read it, or for that matter how exactly it was said, it has stuck with me.

The things girls once wrote in their diaries they now write on Facebook.

I am a Facebook user because I enjoy keeping up to date with those I know. However, since pondering this idea, I’ve constantly been filtering exactly what to share or not to share. Not infrequently I have written a status update, one of those brilliant things that comes to mind, and then I rewrite it a couple more times to make it just right; but I don’t post most of these thoughts. Instead of hitting “share”, I open my desk drawer, remove my journal from its place on the right side, take up a pen, and then proceed to carefully copy this idea off of my computer screen onto the pages open before me.

Journaling is an integral part of my daily life. Since eight years of age I’ve been writing things down. For over six years I’ve daily written in my journals. There is nothing like pulling out an old diary, leafing through the pages, smiling at humorous events and silently reading how my life has grown from my past. Each entry is a landmark in my life— a visible token of handwritten memories that I will never forget; precious object lessons; my life.

Social networking, while nifty for life in the present and possibly the future, will never hold the old charm of a well-worn page, speckled with tears or marks of happiness. Some positive memories can be made, perhaps through a shared photo or sisterly message. However, I’m continually disheartened to see countless young girls naively flaunting their sacred hopes and dreams for all.  Sharing ones heart is becoming all too easy – is it any wonder that we, the generation of the post-modern world, live in so much strife, discord, and heartache? Sharing our personal aspirations can be wholesome and positive –something the world can cheer us on for. Even disclosing certain burdens or struggles can result in encouragement from friends. However, take care, take care.

Guard that which was once cherished by our society, protected by families, and kept sacred for those closest to ones own heart.  Filter your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Do this for yourself, to protect yourself. Do this for other, to protect our eyes, ears, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Do not think that everyone wants to read your personal journal. What is sacred and honored for an individual is not something everyone else wants to be immersed with. With this concept of protecting one another, the Golden Rule may be applied. Shrugging this idea off isn’t going to change our generation. Be accountable, be responsible, be an encouragement. You are your brother’s keeper. You are your sister’s keeper.

If you struggle with sharing things that you believe might be best kept as personal aspirations, hopes, dreams, struggles, and so forth, I encourage you to start a journal. Filling pages with your life is very rewarding. You don’t have to be as dedicated as I try to be, but I believe you will be just as happy as I am when you go over the things you’ve written in the past and see how you have changed. I challenge you, my friends: Let’s write in our journal the things we once wrote on Facebook.

The New Story

Which have I changed my mind about more often since I’ve been in college—potential majors or colleges? I think I’m still good for a few more changes of colleges. However, recently I’ve conversed with people from two of the top candidate schools of my choice and have been reading from Education concerning the real training I need to receive in my education. After GYC in Houston three months ago, I decided that I would cross off Washington state universities and focus on Seventh-day Adventist schools. I had struggled with this decision for quite a while before laying it on the alter, but I’ve had no second thoughts about it, despite urges to reconsider from different influential adults in my life for cost and transferability sake.

I think everyone that knows me recalls me going back and forth with indecision. Lately I’ve struggled with decision changing. There are times I’ve been decided but then that decision has been subject to change according to where I feel God leading me. Last summer all that separated me from Weimar College was stepping foot onto the airplane I’d booked; except a bit more than a plane ride separated me from that choice. That was a time of indecision, but I felt God’s call to staying home one more year. With this mission nearly completed, once again I have investigated my options. When I started again, after GYC, I found the perfect sounding major. I am excited about it: B.S. Medical Laboratory Science with all my medical school pre-reqs and a working degree at the end of 4 years of blissful science and clinicals. At this point in my life I am moving forward towards that degree.

            But, I can get this degree from four different SDA universities. Okay, my best friend goes to Southern. A few emails, talks with Deborah, further research into the degree and I have moved my entrance date for attending Southern to next fall. “Wait, keep praying”. God laid it on my heart to examine my attitude towards the school I was accepted into last fall. Up until about 4 weeks ago I have negated nearly every statement my mom had made about that school. Thoughts came to me: What if I could do a year there to experience a school closely patterning itself after Ellen White’s blueprint for our schools and after the Biblical school of the prophets?

            And then my spring break came the end of March and we traveled back to California to spend time with Tanner and enjoy ten days away from de-winterizing North East Washington. You know Tanner- my brother the senior Theology student at Weimar College. I don’t even need to talk about what happened there. You can guess. I saw once again the Christ-centered, mentoring environment of a school following Biblical counsel. Here there weren’t any Easter pageants or pierced students. Rather, I felt at home. I even ventured into the girls’ dorm with my cousin Ariel to see how tolerable the rooms where. They were way better than I remember them being (almost 4 years since I’d been in one there).

            Finally, the last day of my parents and my visit, I met with Dr. Jackson and we went over the possibility of my degree plan and Weimar working. And to say it simply, it does. And… It is going to. My application from last year is still valid and I’m accepted as a student for this fall. I know God will bless this coming year and show me the real direction my life is needs to go. I’m not going to plan any further on this blog post because you know me.

            I want my choices to reflect the values I have on my life and my endeavors to be more like Christ. I want to be in an environment that will encourage me. While I’m at this point planning on one year at Weimar, I want to make this year really count and experience the experiences to be had there, enjoy a semester with my brother and hopefully a year with my cousin Ariel, and experience the academic and spiritual highs of a new school with like-minded friends and mentors.

            That’s the new story; it continues to unfold. I continue to surprise myself by seeing that God is asking me to change. Through this process of growing up I’m learning more about who I am, what I stand for, and where I’m going. I covet your prayers as I move forward with this decision, plan my academic year, and prepare for a new adventure. Until next time.